The Ceremony
on the Day
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By the time the big day dawns, everyone should have a very clear
idea of what their duties are and when they should perform them.
It is a good idea to have a rehearsal for the actual service in
the church, so that everyone knows just where they should be
standing at what time; the best time to do this is soon before the
wedding. so that as many as possible of the actual participants
can attend.
When the bride wakes up in the morning it will still seem as
though there are 101 things to do. but if you have been well
organised through the preceding weeks the whole procedure will
probably run like clockwork! The bride will spend the hour or two
before the wedding getting ready for her honeymoon and checking
that everything is packed, getting changed into her bridal attire,
and having her photograph taken if the photographer has been
booked to come to the house.
Meanwhile, at the church, the ushers will have arrived 45-60
minutes before the service is due to start so that they are there
to greet any early guests, to make sure that they know what their
duties are, and to be ready with the orders of service.
About 20 minutes before the service the minister will arrive, and
so will the groom and best man. The groom and best man will pose
for photographs, and the best man will pay the fees on behalf of
the groom and make sure that the ushers know what they are doing.
If you are having bell ringing this will probably take place for
about half an hour before the service: inside the church the
organist will have arrived about half an hour early and will be
playing quietly as the guests begin to arrive.
Most guests will arrive about 15 minutes before the service
begins. The ushers will give them each an order of service and
show them to their appropriate seats. Depending on the size of the
church and the size of the wedding, the first one or two pews are
reserved for the couple's families. the second one or two for more
distant relations, and the pews behind that are for friends. The
groom's family, and friends traditionally sit on the right, behind
the groom, and the bride's family and friends on the left, behind
where the bride will stand.
About 10 minutes before the ceremony is due to begin the bride's
mother arrives; she is personally escorted to her seat by one of
the ushers, and sits in the front pew on the left of the church.
She must remember to keep a seat spare on her right so that the
bride's father can sit down when he has completed his part in the
service. The bride's mother should be the last guest to arrive; if
there are any latecomers the ushers should slip them into the back
seats with the minimum of fuss and attention, so that people are
not distracted from the ceremony itself.
Also about 10 minutes before the service the bridesmaids arrive.
The chief bridesmaid will check that everyone looks smart and that
all the junior attendants know what they are doing, and they will
all have some photographs taken.
The bride arrives
The bride's arrival will usually be timed perfectly , by the
chauffeur so that she arrives within one or two minutes of the set
time for the wedding. She may have one or two photographs taken
with her father and with all the attendants, and then the wedding
party will group ready to go down the aisle. The organist or
trumpeter will begin the chosen wedding march, and the groom and
best man will rise from their seats at the front of the church and
stand at the head of the - aisle; the minister will be in position
at the front of the church, The bride comes down the aisle on her
lather's right arm so that,she will be standing next to the groom
when she reaches the head of the aisle. In some cases she may be
preceded by a flower girl scattering petals or confetti Behind her
will come any pages that are actually helping to carry her train,
if there are no train bearers the next person in the procession is
the chief bridesmaid, followed by any other bridesmaids and junior
attendants such as flower girls and pages. if there are only two
bridesmaids they may walk down together. but if they are of very
different heights it is better for the taller one to precede the
smaller.
The groom and best man turn to greet the bride as she arrives at
the front of the church, and the chief bridesmaid takes the
bride's bouquet and lifts her veil if she has one. The minister or
the best man provides the wedding party with orders of service if
they need them; the minister issues a greeting to everyone
present, and then a hymn is usually sung as a prelude to the
marriage itself
The minister will give a general introduction to the wedding, and
then will ask who is giving the bride to be married. The bride's
father may reply or just nod or step forward he takes the bride's
right hand and presents it palm down to the minister The minister
in turn places it in the right hand of the groom, The bride's
father's role in the ceremony is now over, and he takes his place
in the pew beside the bride's mother.
The minister takes the bride and groom through their wedding vows
and charges anyone who knows any reason why they should not be
married to declare it. The bride and groom often exchange rings as
part of the ceremony it is the best man's duty to keep the rings
sale and to present then to the minister at the appropriate time.
The minister may take them on his service book or in his hand: he
may bless them. or simply hand them to the bride and groom at the
appropriate moment. The groom places the bride's ring on her
wedding finger and says the words telling her what the ring
symbolises; if he too is having a ring the bride does the same for
him.
The minister will then declare that having met all the legal
requirements and having made a public declaration of their
intention to marry the couple are now man and wife. He will then
pray for the couple, and may give a short address.
The minister leads the way to the vestry for the signing of the
register, followed by the bride on the groom's left arm. They in
turn are followed by the bride's mother on the arm of the groom's
lather and then the groom's mother on the arm of the bride's
father. Alter them come the bridesmaid and the best man, followed
by any other adult attendants; small attendants may be provided
with places at the front of the church if desired. In the vestry
the register is signed by the person performing the marriage, the
groom, the bride (using her maiden name) and the two chosen
witnesses.
Leaving the Church
After the signing of the register, the wedding party proceeds down
the aisle and out of the church. The bride and groom go first,
attended by any small bridesmaids or pages needed to carry the
bride's train. After the couple come the chief bridesmaid and the
best man, and any junior bridesmaids, and these are followed by
the bride's mother accompanied by the groom's father, then the
groom's mother accompanied by the bride's father.
As the couple leave the church, they are often scattered with
confetti small brightly coloured pieces of tissue paper in pretty
shapes or shaped like rose petals. Confetti is the Italian word
for confectionery, or sweets, which is what was formerly used,
symbolising wishes that the marriage would be attended by lots of
sweet experiences. In this country real flowers were often used,
or their petals, until the advent of paper confetti. These days,
in our technological era, the circles made by punching holes in
computer paper are often used! It is important to ask whether
confetti is allowed outside or near the church some ministers,
understandably, object to the amount of clearing up that it
necessitates.
Rice is also a traditional form of confetti in this country and
grain of some sort or another is used in many countries because of
its symbolism with fertility. Sometimes the grain is in the form
of small cakes, which in fact are the origin of our own wedding
cakes. The bride used to be showered with them, but now she can
keep the cake intact for her guests to share in! Fruit and nuts
and raisins are also used as confetti in some cultures, again
symbolising the wish that the marriage should be rich and
fruitful.
Outside the church the wedding party may emerge under a guard of
honour of ceremonial swords, a canopy of ribbons, or to a
reception in keeping with their hobbies or interests for instance
a football team suitably dressed, or a party of schoolchildren if
one of the couple is a teacher. Bells are often rung as the couple
leaves, traditionally a way of letting the whole town know that
the wedding has taken place.
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